Radical Ideas: Why We Quit Sunday School

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. (James 3:1)

I was raised in church, so from probably birth through my thirties I attended Sunday School. Likewise, my children have all been raised going to Children’s Church and Sunday School classes. I think now we call them Small Groups.

The emphasis on small groups was so strong in our old church that we even had a “Culture Statement” that “Church happens in circles, not rows.” I realized later that this statement comes from Andy Stanley’s teaching, and it really pains me how much his false teachings have infiltrated modern beliefs. Although I am sure they don’t originate from him; I think he just has a knack for tying up worldly philosophies in a neat churchy package. Of course the point here is not to start a list of false teachings in the church, but to acknowledge how tightly church culture has gripped small groups, and to point out that it’s perhaps time to loosen our grip.

I will concede that one can state a number of good reasons to have small groups, both for adults and for children, but those good things can’t be a barrier to assessing if it’s something that we should do. Let’s take on children’s small groups first.

In a traditional church environment, at least what I grew up in, children attend Sunday School classes with kids their own age, then go to church with their parents. We called that “big church.” There is also Children’s Church for some of the younger children offered during the time of the sermon. What I am seeing more and more of in both the mini-mall type churches popping up as well as the mega-church model is Sunday School for everyone up through youth happening at the same time as the actual church service. So families are at the church for about an hour: babies in nurseries, children with their group, youth with theirs, while parents attend the service. Then adult small groups are encouraged “off-campus.” Of course there are variations.

The idea is to get together with people your own age and learn in a way most beneficial for that age. There’s nothing wrong with that motivation and I am not attacking those desiring to teach young hearts about God. It’s just that sometimes we need to look at the results of our actions and determine how we should continue.

The results: We are separating generations and taking faith out of the home.

I remember hearing warnings about the necessity of teaching Christ at home to your children and I wasn’t sure what to do with that. Obviously we should do that. Why wouldn’t we? But the warnings were coming from the evidence that Christ was not being taught adequately at home. With the exception of church on Sundays and prayer at dinner, the typical Christian parent operates as a passive Christian model, letting the church take the active role in teaching.

I specifically remember giving the same warning to parents: “Do not rely on the church be the primary teacher of your children.” But even then I did not know the solution, because I didn’t see the root of the problem. Churches originally took on the teaching role to offer additional support to the home, but over time, that support became the singular pillar of Biblical instruction to children. If we knock that pillar down, it all crashes. Most now see children’s Sunday School as the sole mechanism for discipleship and even salvation for our children! But as a result of that…

1.) Children are catered to and learn to worship in a way that pleases them. This continues as they get older and by the time they are in youth groups, they are practically attending a different church altogether. Statistically, once they go to college, they won’t come back. A Barna Group study claims that 75% of kids raised in church won’t return after high school. And my experience says that most of those that do return look for the church with the best concert experience. Doctrine be damned.

2.) Children are learning from people that are not likely qualified. This is a huge theme overarching the Sunday School crisis (see James 3:1) and we will dive more into it when we cover adults. But for now, consider the fact that the biggest qualifier for a Sunday School teacher is someone that will say “Yes.”

3.) Children from Sunday School grow up to be parents that don’t know any different. This was not always the way. Fathers led their families once and now we struggle to understand what that means. The best we can do is allow the father to decide what’s for dinner and THAT’S usually a sacrifice- some submissive act to brag about in our women’s group! How often does it occur to even the most faithful church-goer to have the father of the house lead the family in Bible study and worship each night? The lack of biblical-leading fathers allows for total complacency with weak doctrine taught in churches in the first place because there is no tangible reason for more meat, for solid food, when dads are under no obligation to lead in a practical way.

This last point is the most detrimental and beautiful to me. Detrimental because families relying on the church for household discipleship is a pandemic among God’s people. Perhaps a significant number of those children falling away from the faith should be attributed to a lack of family discipleship. But, acknowledging what we have forgotten is the first step to getting on the right path. Fathers that assume the role of Spiritual Leader of their family - leading them in family worship, discipling his children, washing his wife in the Word- they will demand more. They will not be complacent. They will seek out proper edification and they will pass their faith to the next generation. They will share their faith with their children and grand-children. The idea of simply singing the same songs to worship God as generations before me as well as after me is one of the most beautiful things I can imagine.

A note to wives here: desire for your husband to be properly edified at church. Choosing a church based on music style or social groups should not be a top priority for your family. A family whose father is growing in knowledge in grace will produce generational fruit!

And now for the adults. Adult small groups are garbage.

Okay, maybe that’s harsh. And certainly not all-inclusive. But hear me out. I have two points:

1.) When I was growing up, I used to play this game with my family called “Balderdash.” I hope someone reading this knows the game! It was very simple and very fun. Basically, one player read an obscure word and the other players wrote made-up definitions for that word. Then, the first player read all the definitions, including the real one and everyone voted on what they thought was the true definition. You’d get points for any guesses on your made-up definition.

It’s such a fun memory - it was fun to be clever and trick people into thinking your definition was legitimate. It was even more fun to just go for the laughs - not writing a definition that would get votes, but one that would make everyone laugh. I’ll always take the hit if I can make you laugh!

How is this my first point? Because adult Small Groups are almost exactly like this game! Maybe I should rephrase my initial statement: Adult small groups are Balderdash!

I am a huge proponent of discussions, and I absolutely believe that iron sharpens iron, but unless your deep-diving, Bible-dissecting small group is being lead by a someone who is basically a trained pastor, called by God, your group is just playing Balderdash with the Bible. And even worse than that! We walk away giving the correct interpretation the same value as the wrong ones! As a result, we go on with life with this idea that the very interpretation of God’s Word is up for grabs, choosing how obedience to simple commandments work best for our lives, our families, our time. Under this model, we undervalue the authority of Scripture ad the role of pastors. This leads me to the second point.

2.) What in the world are we paying our pastor for? The role of pastor has completely shifted away from a shepherd called by God to lead His flock, to something more like a CEO that went to seminary. As a matter of fact, the role of pastor is so undervalued that we believe that anyone with a desire to learn must be called by God (often against the man’s will) and anyone with a desire to preach is called by God (according to the man’s own will). The man we want to pay to lead the church is the one who will grow the numbers. On Sunday mornings we listen to sermons designed to appease the masses and then we’re told that if we want to go deeper we should join a small group, where we circle back to discussions with unqualified leaders with no authority.

This model is a disaster. We require nothing from the pulpit but TED Talks and laughs. We have forgotten that it is God who calls, not man, and that the position is a high calling, not to be taken lightly. Losing the standard for the role of Pastor will continue to have calamitous effects on the body of Christ.

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. (Ephesians 4:11–14)

So here’s a radical idea! Instead of everyone going their own way every Sunday morning, stay together! Learn together! Find a pastor that will teach all of God’s Word accurately and then bring what you learn into your home - teaching your own children all week long. Rinse and Repeat :)