Jealous Again
Or: “Theology from the Bachelorette?”
Sometimes we see the meaning of words change over time. Christmas songs offer a timely example - we giggle about “gay happy meetings” and panic at the “ox and ass” at the manger.
Sometimes the meaning of a word stays the same, but the whole concept around it changes. Something that starts as unacceptable is eventually embraced. The reverse is also true; we see something once appropriate become offensive.
I believe this is the case with the word “jealous.”
When we think of jealousy, we often think of controlling, abusive men that must be avoided. Just think of how this plays out on The Bachelorette - all these men want to have a “relationship” with the one girl, and if something real actually seems to be there, the man can only bite his tongue and put his emotions aside, lest he get ridiculed for not playing nice. “That one isn’t sharing!”
Even worse - if he shows the slightest bit of disapproval over another man being affectionate toward the same girl that he was just also being affectionate with, flags are thrown, alarms go off, and the villain music plays. He must go. And the internet must destroy him.
Now in my opinion, dating-before-marriage needs to go all together, but that’s another post - so I’m not going to get into the sheer ridiculousness of The Bachelor/ette (which at least used to be pretty entertaining - like Jane Goodall watching the gorillas - don’t judge!)
But it needs to be noted - culturally, we have absolutely demonized “jealousy.”
How then can anyone in our society come to the Word of God and read of God’s jealousy without knee-jerk repulsion?
For you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. (Exodus 34:14)
For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. (Deuteronomy 4:24)
How can we reconcile God’s jealousy? Is God wrong to be jealous?
Before we answer (although the answer is obviously “No!”), let’s also consider what Paul tells the Corinthians:
For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:2)
Paul also experiences jealousy, and he isn’t apologizing for it. On the contrary, he is shaming the congregation for their behavior.
It seems to be that jealousy is an emotion that we are not only allowed to have but is actually a godly virtue. God’s jealousy is an indicator that something is terribly wrong. Not once will we be in the right to shake our finger at God. “tsk, tsk, tsk… You better get a handle on that!”
Likewise, when Paul speaks of his jealousy, it is an emotional reaction to something terribly wrong. The solution is not for Paul to get a grip, but for the Corinthians to get a clue. Their behavior needs to change.
When we spark God’s jealousy, it is because we are giving something that belongs to Him to someone or something else. God is right to be jealous. He is the creator and sustainer of all life. He is our protector and our provider. When we look elsewhere for those things, He is right to be jealous. When we give our attention to other things, He is right to be jealous. When we worship other things, making sacrifices for them, making time for them, making plans for other things without regard to God, He is right to be jealous. And how much more do we stir His jealousy when we call ourselves His People?
The language God uses is strong - His people are whores and prostitutes (see Hosea and Ezekiel, among others). It’s strong language for a reason. It should offend us. It should trip us up. Knock us down. It is meant to get our attention and get us back on track.
Are we paying attention?
Paul took on the role of shepherd to many flocks. He knew that discipleship was much more than evangelism. If you were part of a congregation that Paul had influence over, he made sure he was not neglecting his responsibility of bringing you to Christian maturity.
Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me. (Colossians 1:28-29)
If God has given us dominion or stewardship over a people, we should absolutely be jealous when we see them straying. What God has given you, you have a right to be jealous for. Husbands should be jealous for their wives’ time and attention. Parents should be jealous for their child’s attention in training and instruction. Pastors should be jealous for their congregation’s ear.
Paul was jealous when the Corinthians were being influenced by false apostles. They were being led away from devotion to Christ. He likened them to a bride betrothed, turning to another man (2 Corinthians 11:1-4). It’s disgusting and heart-breaking, but we miss the imagery and barely recognize the fault of the Corinthians because we have villainized jealousy.
Sinners absolutely corrupt things: not all jealousy is divine. However, when we feel jealousy our first thought should not be that we need to work on ourselves, but to assess the situation. Is something amiss? Is there a responsibility that God has given me that I am neglecting? Is someone under my watch being lured away?
If we aren’t feeling jealousy at all, we might need to ask ourselves if we’ve bought into the lie that we have no claim on what God has given us! Have you desensitized yourself to the barometer of jealousy?
2 Corinthians 11:1–4
I wish you would bear with me in a little foolishness. Do bear with me! For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes and proclaims another Jesus than the one we proclaimed, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or if you accept a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it readily enough.