Consider the statement, “God told me…” I’ve noticed more and more people saying it these days. It seems to come with some sort of holy confidence. Growing up in Southern Baptist churches, this wasn’t something I often heard, but it was becoming common in my adulthood, and I wanted in on it. There was certainly a desire to know God’s direction for my own life as a young wife and mother, and TWICE I lead a women’s group through a study called “Discerning the Voice of God.” In hindsight, I wish someone would have slapped me in the face with a Bible! It’s all there - in the Bible! There are no new revelations to be had. Deuteronomy 4:2 says, “You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the LORD your God that I command you.” And Revelation 22:18, “I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book.”

When I was growing up, I used to play this game with my family called “Balderdash.” I hope someone reading this knows the game! It was very simple and very fun. Basically, one player read an obscure word and the other players wrote made-up definitions for that word. Then, the first player read all the definitions, including the real one and everyone voted on what they thought was the true definition. You’d get points for any guesses on your made-up definition.

It’s such a fun memory - it was fun to be clever and trick people into thinking your definition was legitimate. It was even more fun to just go for the laughs - not writing a definition that would get votes, but one that would make everyone laugh. I’ll always take the hit if I can make you laugh!

How is this my first point? Because adult Small Groups are almost exactly like this game! Maybe I should rephrase my initial statement: Adult small groups are Balderdash!

I want to learn from my mistakes.

I want to learn from others’ mistakes. I want to help my children learn from the world around them so that they can live with minimal regret. I often find myself asking Why. Why did this happen? I want to single out that one primary cause that led to some calamitous effect. That unseen thing that gave birth to the seen. If I’m following someone on a rocky path, I want to avoid the specific stone that made that person stumble.

Pointing out stumbling blocks, so to speak, is what burdens my heart; I am grieved to see others lose their footing. I am beyond grateful to those who have guided me away from cliffs and out of danger. And I cannot, in any good conscience, turn a blind eye to others struggling. This is the primary motivation for this whole blog!

I think Christians go through steps of Bible study in their walk. At first, reading God’s Word is very personal: “What does this mean to me?”

The next step is more selfless: “What does this mean for others: for the lost?”

Problems come from staying in either of these mindsets, though. The Christian looking to interpret the Bible through the lense of self-discovery will often begin to use personal Bible study time as sort of a fortune cookie reveal, or daily horoscope reading. I once listened to a mother tell of a time when she struggled with her children and she opened her Bible and read what was there. “Let them go,” it said. And so she did.

Think of Christianity as a cast-iron skillet. It's pretty solid, nearly unbreakable, and lasts a life-time. More than that, actually! It passes down through generations. I still cook with my grandfather’s cast-iron skillet. But how many of us have gotten out that skillet to find that we had put it away without drying it fully? Take that heavy, indestructible, far superior skillet and add something that seems as pure and harmless as water to it and it really won’t take long to find it’s starting to rust.

Our Christian churches and Christian families are built on beliefs that are solid, but we are not impervious to faulty thinking. We are not incorruptible.

I recently read through the Old Testament for an Old Testament Survey class. As I read, I found that lessons in parenting kept standing out to me. There’s so much we can learn, not just from God’s instruction to His people but also by His example as a Father. As I read, I started to notice a pattern of how God dealt with His people as the books progress. It’s as though there is this parallel that you can draw between the age of your child and the page in the Bible. You can look at how God deals with His people in each book of the Old Testament and know a little better how to parent a child of the corresponding age.

Our daughter’s baby book had a little place to write in something like “Our Family Story” and I remember writing, “Once upon a time Daddy made Mommy laugh. And he did it again and again and again until she married him.” And really, that pretty much sums it up. Our friendship was built on laughter, and our marriage has thrived with laughter, and laughter continues to fuel our entire family. Obviously, God is at the center of our family, but I can’t help but acknowledge the gift that laughter has been in our lives. I believe that’s what laughter is, a gift from God. 

A mentor of mine would often ask, “How does a goldfish glorify God?”

By simply being a goldfish.

God created us with design and purpose and the two work together. In college biology, if I recall correctly, it’s stated that “form equals function.” What we know at the most microscopic levels is that the form of a molecular structure determines it’s function. It does not do any good for mitochondria to function as anything other than mitochondria. As a matter of fact, if said mitochondria were to quit performing it’s designed function and attempt to do another job, it would cause problems.

Sometimes we see the meaning of words change over time. Christmas songs offer a timely example - we giggle about “gay happy meetings” and panic at the “ox and ass” at the manger.

Sometimes the meaning of a word stays the same, but the whole concept around it changes. Something that starts as unacceptable is eventually embraced. The reverse is also true; we see something once appropriate become offensive.

I believe this is the case with the word “jealous.”

We have a tendency in church culture to put truth and love on opposite sides of a pendulum. If we swing over to the truth side, then we feel we are lacking in love. If we go too far on the love side, then we feel we aren’t able to give the truth (the whole truth and nothing but the truth).

The truth seems to be offensive. Offensive typically means unloving, right? So the thinking here is that if we are to tell someone the truth, we must do it in a way that does not offend them.

Therefore, love actually functions as a muzzle to truth.

One could easily argue that without conviction there would be no reformation. Martin Luther famously said:

Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures or by clear reason… I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted and my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. 

Martin Luther was on the chopping block for his convictions, and he could have selfishly put them aside and lived a much more peaceful life. This is true of all reformers.

I never liked kids.

I never wanted to have children.

When our pastor did our pre-marital counseling sessions, one thing he asked me and my then soon-to-be husband was if we were on the same page regarding children. We both agreed that we were, and we confirmed that we didn’t want any.

Maybe 1, but that was doubtful.

I was once asked what I did - what my job was. “I’m a wife and mother.”

“But what do you DO?”

The question wasn’t a curious look into what a wife and mother does; it was a condescending reminder that I would need to do more to be a valuable contributor to my family. The question was essentially, “What do you do, as in for work…. as in, for worth.”